1876-1933, American Author
A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
Wilson Mizner – [Critics and Criticism]
A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions.
Wilson Mizner – [Fools and Foolishness]
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.
Wilson Mizner – [Listening]
Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.
Wilson Mizner – [Kindness]
Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
Wilson Mizner – [Behavior]
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
Wilson Mizner – [Plagiarism]
Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
Wilson Mizner – [Egotism]
I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
Wilson Mizner – [Laughter]
I have known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, but never had a thought.
Wilson Mizner – [Thoughts and Thinking]
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
Wilson Mizner – [Doubt]
If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
Wilson Mizner – [Plagiarism]
Life is a tough proposition and the first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner – [Life and Living]
Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
Wilson Mizner – [Popularity]
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
Wilson Mizner – [Friends and Friendship]
The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.
Wilson Mizner – [Success]
The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.
Wilson Mizner – [Anger]
There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.
Wilson Mizner – [Wealth]